One such place in particular a most curious spot…
On the side of my early childhood house where the large tree with the creeper connected, on the front corner, towards the large poplar trees, was a curious architectural anomaly…
That corner of the house was different to any other. Different to any I have ever seen on any house. The entire corner from the ground to roof was built of raw brick. But the bricks weren’t laid directly on top of each other. They were offset by about slightly less than a finger width. Sloping very gradually going upward.
And at the top, just beneath the roof, was an open space. Like someone had cut a slice out of the top corner of the house just under the eaves. Then removed that top corner. There was this somewhat rectangular cubbyhole at the top of the sloping bricks. About two arm lengths by one.
The sloping bricks were an invitation. Gently coaxing the adventurous. “Be bold little one, be bold. Rise above your fears and you will be rewarded,” they call to me.
L: – “Interesting…”
The Young Man: – So I climb those bricks. This perilous steep climb, using merely fingers and toes. That call to me, an exercise in Sensibility. If I could be on the first brick, just barely above the ground, and there’s no threat of falling off, why would it be any different higher up?
L: – “Suspense!”
The Young Man: – It wouldn’t!! There’s no actual risk other than the risk of silliness. The risk of letting ideas, emotions and maybes get in the way. So I climb some more. I climb higher. Heart pounding, looking at only the bricks, one brick by one brick, slightly higher, slightly higher.
Now Earth calls me back. It misses me. Earth tells me I’m far away, too far away. It shows me how much it cares by letting me know if I fell I would be harmed. I am so high…
I look down to reassure Earth, and my heart lurches. My stomach turns, churns. Earth is indeed far away, even though I am not even halfway up yet. But to go back down? No! This is not an option. Not when the promise of Sanctuary beckons. It whispers to me: “I am here…I am here. Trust your Sensibility Little One. Each place on the bricks is the same as any other. High or low, it’s all the same.”
I climb higher.
L: – “Awh. <3”
The Young Man: – Earth pulls hard at me. Desperately wanting me back. “Come down! Come Down Little One! This is where you belong. Where it’s safe, where there’s no risk.”
But Sanctuary whispers: “And where there’s no Magic.”
I climb higher still. Near the top. Almost there.
L: – “<3 Earth…”
The Young Man: – But now a new challenge presents. How to get from the bricks into Sanctuary? Earth is screaming, “Come back, come back! It’s not worth it. What are you doing? This is an unknown. You don’t know how.”
Sanctuary whispers in response: “Yes, it’s a risk. Yes, there is danger. But, if you stop now, will you ever come this close again? Will you ever come back and try again?”
This stops me, empowers me. I know the Truth of what Sanctuary implies. It’s a Moment in my Life. I can choose to risk now, and be free. Or I go back and live without power for the rest of my life. I know what Sanctuary is whispering is True. I know what Sanctuary is really saying. I am choosing: Adventure or the known. Freedom or…
Sanctuary is saying: “You are testing yourself. If you fail your own test, how can you ever Trust your Sensibility again? Will you ever again believe you actually do have Courage? Will you know it for sure without having proved it?”
I know this. I know I knew it when I stood comfortably on that first line of bricks. I know I have no choice really. I know there is no choice really to go back. Going back was never really an option, is not an option. Ever. Not for me, not then, not now.
I go forward. I go on. I go up….
I climb into heaven.
L: – “Wow…”
The Young Man: – I am Home! I am free. I am alone. I’m at peace and I’m excited, soaring, my heart yearning with Joy. Hammering, pounding, racing with exhilarated freedom, re-purposed fear, and relief. I’m in Sanctuary indeed. Where I am, is in a slice not out of the house, but out of the world.
Time and space are different here in my Sanctuary. But it’s more than Sanctuary, it’s a place of Peace, a place of Power. I am refilled, added to. In what way exactly I cannot say. But I know it’s Good. Supremely Good. I feel removed from the regular World, into a different kind of World, where looking at things is different. (I didn’t know it exactly then, but I had climbed into the Abstract.) I feel the difference, and it’s glorious!
L: – “cry emoticon
The Young Man: – Despite this awesomeness, there’s the press of very real reality, the pull of very real gravity. Very real Fear is up there with me in Sanctuary. I am pressed close into it’s farthest corner, for what little relief that might give, inviting Sanctuary to hug me as best it can. I am reassured, slightly.
Eventually moving the eternity of half an arm’s length to look down, to look over the edge. I look. I look down…
The world swirls! Winding and twisting all around me, buffeting me from all sides. It’s terrifying. My insides churn from a renewed much more intense adrenaline-surge. Far worse than I experienced on the climb up to Sanctuary. Fear wants to reclaim me. Vertigo wants to own me.
But there’s a strange calm to it all. The calm is inside me. It’s the Calm of Reason. “How can you fall?” it asks. “Your ideas cannot physically suck you out of here. Can they?”
“No,” I acknowledge, “They cannot.” I am emboldened. I remember my Sensibility, the Sensibility which brought me here. And I celebrate!
L: – “‘Something’s wrong
when you regret,
hasn’t happened yet’
Lyrics playing… interesting…”
The Young Man: – (Yes on lyrics.)
I celebrate! This is the joy. This is the delight. This is the bliss. The Knowing I can trust my Sensibility! Knowing I do not have to rely on guessing. Knowing my sensibility is true. I can *Know* it now. I have tested my Sensibility with real risk. I am the proof, being there in my Slice of Heaven, that my Sensibility is Sensible. it doesn’t matter that Fear and calamity are but one body shift away, it may as well be an eternity, an infinity, the effect is the same. Degree has no effect on my Sensibility.
It’s powerful knowledge, heady knowledge. Earth now whispers to me, it’s happy for my triumph. But Earth is always sensible also. It does not want to see me get lost in myself. It understands the value of my achievement. But also sees the risk of a self not balanced.
“You still have to come back down again,” Earth whispers for the second time. I had not heard the first in my euphoria. The reality of my circumstance smacks me back to Sensibility. I know now what Earth is telling me. Sanctuary agrees.
Trust is one thing. Sensibility is one thing. But overconfidence is another.
“Arrogance and ego are the killers of Trust and Sensibility.,” Earth and Sanctuary merge into One. As they always were. Merely apart temporarily for my benefit. United now, as they will always be.
“Humility!” They whisper fiercely, earnestly. “Remember our friend Humility. Remember your companion Humility. Remember the Balance of Humility.”
As I contemplate going back down, I am chastened. A lesson I will not forget. Ever.
“Enjoy your Balance,” they tell me together as they laugh and laugh their sublime laughter. The message is profound, a profoundly joyous Understanding.
They leave me to get back down by myself. I do. Remembering my lessons I Trust my Reason and my Sensibility. If I could come up, I can go down. They are the same. My fears are ideas. They have no real power. Despite the physical clumsiness of the task, I carefully get down.
I land back on earth, jumping down from the last few bricks. The joy is immense. I have a renewed connection to Earth. I love Earth dearly. Thrilled to be back.
“Remember this,” Earth reminds me, “All it takes to Renew the Magic is a Change of Perspective.”
Sanctuary whispers in a confirmation of Harmony, “I am here, whenever you need me, I am here.”
A sanctuary I would avail myself of many times, every time a Challenge of Spirit.
L: – “Yay! Fantastic…
Can’t wait to read this well later. 🙂
Just skimming now.”
The Young Man: – That cubbyhole-in-the-sky a powerful spot for me. I went there regularly. Each time a trepidatious affair. Never easy, going up, or coming down. But up there, always awesome.
I’ve somewhat dramatised my experience, as it’s the only way I know how to express what was in me at the time, in me without words. I had not the language then yet. But I did have that clear Understanding of what’s involved.
What I describe is my knowing-of-then, not my knowing-of-now. I immersed myself in that experience as fully as I could using my devices of articulation, immersion, and elucidation to assist. I know I cannot say those words as an I-of-then, as they didn’t yet exist, but I did have those Understandings.
I do want to most earnestly communicate that we do have these Understandings at a very young age. How old we are has absolutely nothing to do with our capability to Understand. But we can get so clogged up with *Ideas* of knowledge we drown that direct connection. But as children we’re open to that clear knowing.
Those experiences are powerful. It seems people forget them, or disregard simply because they had them as children. For no other reason than they couldn’t be sensible from a child, because: “What does a child know?”
But surely Validity has to be determined on Validity alone. If the experience, the perspective, the knowing, has merit, it has merit. And it’s Valuable. Where it came from and how it was come by is irrelevant. All that matters is its Validity and Usefulness.
I’ve never forgotten those experiences of mine. I’m inordinately thankful for them. They’ve been immensely profound. Repeatedly and continuously. Whenever I revisit them, just like I did with Sanctuary, my Perspective is refreshed. As a bonus, I’m always rewarded with some new Knowing, some new Perspective, some new insight I didn’t have before.
It’s a deep wish these kinds of experiences, whenever in life we experience them, are Treasured and Valued for the inordinately precious Gifts they are. And I know, joyfully, I’m not alone. My Dear Friends have them also.
L: – “ 🙂 ”
The Young Man: – 🙂 <3
Continued in Chapter 8.5 – Energy Building Interlude: https://is.gd/xCuFns
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