What is Life-Coaching to me?
A life-coach, and I do not even like that term because coach in its usual usage has many connotations and implications which are contrary to life-coaching as I see it. A life-coach as I see it, and I run an extensive Program for Coaching Life-Coaches, is someone who will never ever *tell* another anything, they will Share yes, but never tell.
Mostly they will Listen, *Hear* the other and make sure also they *feel* Heard. Hear as in Capital H Hearing which goes way beyond just hearing or listening. It’s a deep skill with many many layers.
They will Make Space for the other, again, a profound skill and activity which enables the other to do what they would not ordinarily be easily able to do. Again, a sophisticated skill with many complexities.
They will pay exquisite Attention and Provide energy which would not otherwise be available, a most most precious contribution and invaluable.
A good life-coach IMO is deeply ethical and conscientious, taking their responsibilities very very seriously, seeing them as a deep deep profound Responsibility.
Above all, the life-coach’s job is to stay out of the way, to enable inner truth, *AS IT IS ACCORDING TO THE INDIVIDUAL* to emerge. These truths are not just personal beliefs and opinions and thus are never merely ego-boosting, but truths which are hard-come by, tested and forged in the fires of Awareness, Discernment, and Understanding, Truths which have been vetted and tested on the incorruptible anvil of Conscience, the *individual’s* Conscience, not the life-coaches conscience, which has nothing whatsoever to do with those truths, which are really, in the end. Awareness, Discernments, and Understandings and thus are alive growing and changing as Appropriate and as the individual grows and changes.
A life-coaches is assisting in preparing an individual to be a *traveller* and not to get to a particular destination. A profound mistake many unfortunately make. To be a good traveller is a particular skill, which most certainly can be acquired, thus a good life-coaches does not have to have answers to life’s questions, just enabled another to be able to travel with ease and joy to traverse life’s Paths as they take them, since life is about the journey, not necessarily the destination. That’s personal.
Further, depending on what’s been asked or agreed upon, and if there is a specific curriculum or not etc, there may also be a Sharing of *Self-Evident-Sensibilities* as is so in my personal case, with WOI.
I feel that a good coach will provide *tools* from which the other can fashion their *own* tools as needed and as Appropriate. The task of a life-coach is to facilitate *Choice,* Awareness and capabilities, as well as opportunities for Self-Proof that the individual can apply those tools and make choices in Awareness.
That’s what it’s all about; Awareness, Choice, capability, and a good coach has many many tools to enable this *WITHOUT* their own personal beliefs coming into matters.
I remind Participants regularly to *NOT* believe a word I say. Their task is to come to their *OWN* decisions, conclusions, Awarenesses, and capabilities by themselves.
The life-coach but provides assistance and tools and also, provides *Structure* which greatly assists the motivation assistance which a life-coach provides.
A life-coach is a partner in a profound Life-Dance of Learning and Growing. It’s not about the having wisdom or insight, it’s about Understanding, deeply and profoundly and with great sophistication and knowing very well what *SELF-LEARNING* is all about and providing the environment, tools, opportunities, prompts, clues, hints, suggestions, and incentives for that *Self-Learning* to be attractive, fun, exciting, Joyful and a delight.
A good life-coach will have eager participants or learning partners, because *always,* that learning and growing is a profound *Collaboration* where the Life-Coaches is furiously busy learning alongside the individual who they are partnered with.
There’s much much More I can elaborate on, as it’s a deep deep topic but way too much for a comment. Suffice is to say most life-coaches are selling a belief-system, which is okay, as long as one is Aware of this and is okay adopting someone else’s beliefs, no matter how wonderful they may be. Ofc the downside is that one ends up essentially living another’s life and that is why in most life-coaching the results are temporary, even if that temporary is years or even decades.
To empower others is the end goal, but it’s not something the life-coach can *give* another, merely creating the conditions for the Self-Empowerment to happen. If they know what they are doing, then as long as the participant or client does the work, or play really, if the life-coach knows what they are doing, that Self-Empowerment happens.
If anyone wants to know More or discuss this in detail, they are welcome to come on Zoom and talk about it, then I can get into the subject in depth as is befitting such a huge and sophisticated subject. This includes those who are interested for themselves, and coaches already coaching and keen to know More, either way, no problem, happy to Share.
I can also arrange for interaction with those with whom I work and have worked, to get a view and perspective from the other end, a most important part of Sharings such as this.
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