I have found in these matters, there’s a certain ruthless sensibility which comes about. It’s a vitally necessary and critical quality or mindset to develop and employ. An incredibly freeing one. When I make these kinds of decisions from that place of being, I inevitably end up feeling I have finally done the truly *right* thing by myself. That I have succeeded in doing what is truly Appropriate for *Me.*
And that I have succeeded in overcoming the false bullshit of self-important guilt at supposedly being selfish. This is an amazingly subtle, complex and layered indulgence. Feeling guilty over nonsense I mean. It’s all connected to proving to ourselves that we are actually good people. We are so afraid that if we do for once do something that is purely for us, that now somehow we are going to suddenly be bad people. So the guilt and all the other motivations for being altruistic are sometimes just a whole load of crap. A camouflage for us not wanting to “look bad.” So ego, vanity, and self-importance bullshit in other words.
It is only when we truly do *precisely* and *exactly* what we want to do, minute by minute, that we in the end actually find ourselves in a place where we really do Good. That place is one in which we truly love and enjoy what we do. It’s a joy with no drawbacks or strings attached and there’s no need for forbearance or enduring or tolerating and so on. No, when we are where we need to be, where we want to be, we relish every single second of what we do. And *that* is the place where we need to be. Not suffering like some martyr. That’s no good at all to anyone.
Just think of those that bring joy and wonder and goodness into the world. They love every single micro-second of what they do. They do it with their entire beings. Mother Teresa is a good example. She *Loved* what she was doing, a profound joy and gift to her. *She* was the one who benefited in her eyes the most from what she did.
This is to me a most most profound truth and insight; that we truly have to follow our hearts. This means that we have to overcome our petty fears of appearing selfish. We have to Trust, to truly and fully and utterly Capital T Trust our own Integrity, Honesty and Goodness. We have to Trust that we could never ever want what is bad or wrong. Thus, whatever we actually *do* truly want is thus right and Good. and it is what we need to be doing. Be it writing or philosophising, or theorising, or caring for the ailing, or whatever.
The world needs all of us. There are some things in the world that only a few are truly predisposed to do. Thus they cannot be doing what many are suited to. Those of us that have come into the world with clear and strong well-defined predilections, it seems to me, have a responsibility to follow those innate tendencies to the utmost. Which means we have to put to bed the bugaboo of selfishness. I take it, from an Overview Perspective point of view, it’s almost our *duty* to be selfish in this way. To be utterly selfish when it comes to our predilections, knowing they are rooted in Goodness and Sensibility.
Because of course those predilections did not come in a vacuum. They came alongside a very strong sense of ethical responsibility integrity and moral impeccability. Thus, when all are put together, following our predilections to the utmost becomes a Sacred Act of Attunement.
It’s doing what we *Love* to do that is the first and foremost consideration. Because, if we have Integrity and Goodness and Ethics, how can we possibly go wrong when we focus on doing what we truly Love? This is the right thing to do. Doing from any other Perspective or for any other primary reason just doesn’t make sense anymore, once we realise how it all works. Doing something because we think we “should’ is by comparison a very very crappy reason. No matter how beneficent our actions may be.
In the Greater Scheme of Things, our contributions are paltry by comparison. Especially if they come at the sacrifice of our well-being. We have to consider that part of the Sacred Duty of Living, is to be a Producer of Positivity. Thus, again, it is a duty to not be doing anything that we don’t *Love* doing.
If we are producing negativity, even in small ways, we are contributing to the spreading of the contagious disease of negativity. Ethically we cannot do this. So no matter how Good and kind and caring our actions may be, if they are not supported by us Loving every second of doing them, then we are being counter-productive in the Overall Scheme of Things.
I am now wondering what it is that you truly do *love* to do. What are your particular predilections and intimate personal wants? In other words, if I was to ask you: “If you were to purely follow your heart, without any other considerations, what would you do?”
And then, when you answer, I will ask of you another question. I will ask: “How is it that you can justify *NOT* following your heart and doing what it is that you Love to do?”
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