I’d like to Share a Personal Story from when I was about five or six to illustrate a number of points which I believe to be most important. First, the story below is a true story, written via the immersion of the Me-of-Now into the Me-of-Then and the Experience-of-Then. This is the first key Understanding for me.
At the time, the experience was fundamentally transformative. A big deal for me then in terms of accomplishment, in the many way as illustrated in the story. However, my Me-of-Then, while knowing the big-dealness of the points articulated in this telling, came by them differently. I knew then for instance that backing down from a logical challenge, one well within my capabilities, one only governed by fear, was something I would not easily deal with or “live down” within myself. Giving in, in this way, even once, I felt would be enough to affect me. I knew this, but, would not have been able to explain it as clearly as I can now. The big deal is bringing the fullness of that Understanding-of-Then into the Awareness-of-Now. It’s a kind of owning it, and an Owning of Ourselves. Most powerful. Further, when recounting a Memorable Event such as this, when we go totally into the immersion of remembering for the purpose of the retelling of it, much more is accessed than via the usual remembering. We tend to remember the whole when we casually remember, not the step by step moment to moment experiences as they unfolded. But, in each moment there is much, much power and Awareness-of-Self, if we choose to access it in this detailed immersive way via a re-telling. Our Self-of-Now can add significantly to the re-experiencing. At the time I indeed felt a strong pull from that Sanctuary and also the powerful pull of vertigo from the height and from Earth. I did not then fully realise how much I had already conceptualised them as Abstracts. Especially with Earth, or The Land as I would think of it then. I had a deeper love for The Land than I realised consciously back then. That only came into full Awareness into the Me-of-Now via the re-counting. I used to feel that feeling of vertigo in my stomach whenever I thought of the those moments at the top, throughout the years I have remembered this life-event. But, the detailed and intense re-telling of it all, in this way, has removed those feelings and others. This Memorable Event no longer pressures me to remember it. I have extracted the Lessons and Awarenesses I needed to. That is a most powerful point and value which comes from a detailed articulation of these kinds of experiences. At the time though I did not think in Abstract Concepts as much as I do now. A mode of thinking and conceiving which adds tremendously to my experiencing of life. Blending that mode of conception into the re-telling made the recounting and re-living a much more potent experience for me. A combining of the Me-of-Then into the Me-of-Now, and perhaps the reverse also. A most powerful benefit of this simple but complex undertaking. A life-Doing I highly highly recommend when it comes to Memorable Events or Significant Experiences. Those which stay with us and don’t leave, coming back to us time and time again, until we unlock their magic fully through a thorough re-telling via a full Immersion. There’s a kind of peace which is hard to describe that is the end result. A freeing of energy, an easing of subtle pressure. Most excellent, besides all the advantages of gained Perspective, Understanding and Awareness. We think we know and remember those experiences, but, until we go back into them, we don’t really, we just believe we do. Knowing their power, the hearing of these kinds of stories from others is for me a Joy indeed. My purpose with this Sharing is to encourage others to also Share their experiences which made a significant difference in their lives. <3
The Story: (Part of a longer story.) […]…One such place in particular was a most curious spot… On the side of my early childhood house where the large tree with the creeper connected, on the front corner, towards the large poplar trees, was a curious architectural anomaly. That corner of the house was different to any other. Different to any I have ever seen on any house. The entire corner from the ground to roof was built of raw brick. But the bricks were not laid directly on top of each other. They were offset by about slightly less than a finger width. Sloping very gradually going upward. And at the top, just beneath the roof, was an open space. Like someone has cut a slice out of the top corner of the house just under the eaves. Then removed that top corner. There was this somewhat rectangular cubbyhole at the top of the sloping bricks. About two arm lengths by one. The sloping bricks an invitation. Gently coaxing the adventurous. “Be bold little one, be bold. Rise above your fears and you will be rewarded,” they call to me. So I climb those bricks. This perilous steep climb, using merely fingers and toes. That call to me an exercise in Sensibility. If I could be on the first brick, just barely above the ground, and there was no threat of falling off, why would it be any different higher up? It wouldn’t!! There is no actual risk other than the risk of silliness. The risk of letting ideas, emotions and maybes get in the way. So I climb some more. I climb higher. Heart pounding, looking at only the bricks, one brick by one brick, slightly higher, slightly higher.
Now Earth calls me back. It misses me. Earth tells me I was far away. Too far away. It shows me how much it cares by letting me know that if I fell I would be harmed. It was so high… I look down to reassure Earth, and my heart lurches. My stomach turns, churns. Earth is indeed far away even though I am not even halfway up yet.. But to go back down? No! This is not an option. Not when the promise of Sanctuary beckons. It whispers to me: “I am here…I am here. Trust your Sensibility. One place on the bricks is the same as any other place. High or low, it’s all the same.” I climb higher. Earth pulls hard at me now. Desperately wanting me back. “Come down! Come Down Little One! This is where you belong. Where it is safe, where there is no risk.” But Sanctuary whispers: “And where there is no Magic.” I climb higher still. Near the top. Almost there. But now a new challenge presents. How to get from the bricks into Sanctuary? Earth is screaming now, “Come back, come back! It’s not worth it. What are you doing? This is an unknown. You don’t know how.” Sanctuary whispers in response: “Yes, it is a risk. Yes, there is danger. If you stop now, will you ever come this close again? Will you ever come back and try again?” This stops me. This empowers me. I know the Truth of what Sanctuary implies. It is a Moment in my Life. I can choose to risk now, and be free. Or I go back and live without power for the rest of my life. I know what Sanctuary is whispering is True. I know what Sanctuary is really saying. I am choosing: Adventure or the known. Freedom or… Sanctuary is saying: “You are testing yourself. If you fail your own test, how can you ever Trust your Sensibility again? Will you ever again believe that you actually do have Courage? Will you know it for sure without having proved it?” I know this. I know I knew it when I stood comfortably on that first line of bricks. I know I have no choice really. I know there is no choice really to go back. Going back was never really an option, is not an option. Ever. Not for me, not then, not now. I go forward. I go on. I go up…. I climb into heaven.
I am Home now! I am free. I am alone. I am at peace and I am excited, soaring, my heart yearning with Joy. Hammering, pounding, racing with exhilarated freedom, re-purposed fear, and relief. I am in Sanctuary indeed. Where I am, is in a slice not out of the house, but out of the world. Time and space are different here in my Sanctuary. But it is more than Sanctuary. It is a place of Peace. It is a place of Power. I am refilled, added to. In what way exactly I cannot say. But I know it is Good. Supremely Good. I feel removed from the regular World, into a different kind of World, where looking at things is different. (I did not know it exactly then, but I had climbed into the Abstract.) I feel the difference, and it is glorious! Despite this awesomeness, there is the press of very real reality, the pull of very real gravity. Very real Fear is up there with me in Sanctuary. I am pressed close into it’s farthest corner, for what little relief that might give, inviting sanctuary to hug me as best it can. I am reassured, slightly, eventually moving the eternity of half an arm’s length to look down. To look over the edge. I look. I look down… The world swirls! Winding and twisting all around me, buffeting me from all sides It’s terrifying. My insides churn from a renewed much more intense adrenaline-surge. Far worse than I experienced on the climb up to Sanctuary. Fear wants to reclaim me. Vertigo wants to own me. But there’s a strange calm to it all. The calm is inside me. It is the Calm of Reason. “How can you fall?” It asks. “Your ideas cannot physically suck you out of here. Can they?” “No,” I acknowledge, “They cannot.” I am emboldened. I remember my Sensibility, the Sensibility which me here. And I celebrate! This is joy. This is delight. This is bliss. The Knowing that I can trust my Sensibility! Knowing that I do not have to rely on guessing. That my sensibility is true. I can *Know* it now. I have tested my Sensibility with real risk. I am the proof, being here in my Slice of Heaven, that my Sensibility is Sensible. It matters not that Fear and calamity are but one body-shift away, may as well be an eternity, an infinity, the effect is the same. Degree has no effect on my Sensibility. It’s powerful knowledge, heady knowledge. Earth now whispers to me. It is happy for my triumph. But Earth is always sensible also. It does not want to see me get lost in myself. It understands the value of my achievement. But also sees the risk of a self not balanced. “You still have to come back down again,” Earth whispers for the second time. I had not heard the first in my euphoria. The reality of my circumstance smacks me back to Sensibility. I know now what Earth is telling me. Sanctuary agrees.
Trust is one thing. Sensibility is one thing. But overconfidence is another. “Arrogance and ego are the killers of Trust and Sensibility.” Earth and Sanctuary merge into One. As they always were. Merely apart temporarily for my benefit. United now, as they will always be. “Humility!” They whisper fiercely, earnestly. “Remember our friend Humility. Remember your companion Humility. Remember the Balance of Humility.” As I contemplate going back down, I am chastened. A lesson I will not forget. Ever. “Enjoy your Balance,” they tell me together as they laugh and laugh their profound laughter. The message a profound one to me. A profoundly joyous understanding. They leave me to get back down by myself. I do. Remembering my lessons I Trust my Reason and my Sensibility. If I could come up, I can go down. They are the same. My fears are ideas. They have no real power. Despite the physical clumsiness of the task, I carefully get down. I land back on earth, jumping down from the last few bricks. The joy is immense. I have a renewed connection to Earth. I love Earth dearly. Thrilled to be back. “Remember this,” Earth reminds me, “All it takes to Renew the Magic is a Change of Perspective.” Sanctuary whispers in a confirmation of Harmony, “I am here, whenever you need me, I am here.” A sanctuary I would avail myself of many times again, every time a Challenge of Spirit.
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